Wednesday, December 13, 2006

medications

I am quick to listen when people say that Presrciption drugs ( meds) are not the solution to the problems presented by ADD or depression. While I have found a great deal of help from the current batch of Wellbutrin, there have been times when the use of meds let me down.
Nutrition and vitamins are part of the treatment plan as are excercise and counseling.

I had a friend who suffered from mild to severe depression and had been on meds for quite a while to treat that, with some success.
I was in a counseling relationship that was beneficial. My counselor and I were dealing with my lack of productivity and spells of depression which we believed were related and exacerbated by the onset of winter's short days and the Holidays.
I can not recall who suggested first that I try Prozac. I wanted help to get to a better place mentally. I engaged in a lot of very negative self talk that ran like an audio track in the background much of my day. I had a lot of 'excuses' that I relied upon to make myself feel better about "doing nothing". There was a long season of losses, where as I recall it now, I lost everything but my mind. Come to think of it the latter was a close call.
I lost my sailboat to a freak accident, I lost my home, and I lost my dog. I though of myself as crazy. I toyed with what it would be like to not exist in my body anymore, but to go directly to heaven. This was what got me in to see a mental health expert.
I met with a psychiatrist through a county program, and was givien Prozac, no charge. It helped. Some. It took the deep part out of my depressions, making them shorter, and less severe. It gave me more days that I could "handle my life". With that tool in our toolbox my counselor and I started working on my lack of organization.

Side note to counselor: Chris, if you ever read this know that I really appreciated what you did for me and my children. You are one of the good ones, you cared and you worked hard for me.

I was not organized then and I am not organized now. I just don't seem to have that gene. When I want something straightened, I hire it to be done, and keep myself on tasks where I can have success and make money. Building, creating, fixing.
Prozac did not make me more organized but it gave me more energy for the daily battle for my self worth and sanity. I have much more of both today, and I did manage to repair some of the damage to relationships wealened by my lack of caring ( for myself).

More on meds later, including my try at Zoloft, and clever ways of getting around needing the 'shrink' to write the prescription. Maybe a word or two about side effects.
God bless you all as you work through these things and support those you love in their recovery.

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