Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Physical Health, Part 1

About 3 years ago I went to see a counselor at my church. I was feeling a little manic... Depressed... Compulsive... You name it.

I didn't know why. Things in my life were going pretty well. I had a new baby at home, my wife and I were enjoying being new parents and I was making good money at my job.

Why was I depressed? (This is before I ever knew that I had ADHD. I only knew that I, like many in my family, was a little 'quirky' at times.)

A few things were happening in my life:

1. I was becoming increasingly compulsive. I had always been, but it was getting worse. I would check the stove to make sure it was off... 10 times in a row. I would check my alarm clock over and over to make sure it was really set... I obsessed over it, to the point that I lost sleep. I would pull over along the side of the road to make sure I really put the gas cap back on after filling up.

2. I was upset... About what, I don't know. A girl at work confided in me that she was pregant and going to get an abortion. It made me a wreck. I cried about it... A lot. I didn't know what to do, and, when she went through with it I felt like I, the only Christian in her life, let God down.

3. I grew manic. I was mostly depressed, with moments of incredibly manic highs.

You're reading this and saying, "Aren't you ADHD? Now you're saying you have depression?"

It's all related, but this moment in my life echoed some characteristics that had been manifested at other times, and now that I was a parent with a family depending on me, I found it to be a little frightening.

I went to a counselor (this in and of itself was a big step for me).

At the time I weight 210-215 pounds, about 45 pounds overweight. Note this. It's important.

1 comment:

David said...

very KEY things in htis post
HAVING FAMILY, which causes us tobe more accountable, and to have their love and support to get through this.
Second, going to see a counselor ( hope fully one familiar withh ADHD, or ADD. Great post Matt